I’ve experienced abrupt change a few times in my life - some might call these “life quakes”. Life quakes can (and usually do) have the ability to shift the ground beneath your feet, and to cause a re-ordering of things. There’s no way around change in life. Being human means we will continually go through changes, life quakes, losses, and new beginnings (see references below for more).

A few years ago, a big life quake came in the form of a little baby blessing- two days old and needing a safe place to land for who-knew-how-long. We had fostered before back in Colorado and re-certified when we moved to New York. We waited almost a year, wondering if we would get the opportunity to foster here.

We got the call on a Friday afternoon and two hours later, we welcomed this fragile, precious, life-consuming wonderful little being. We had never had a newborn before. We had parented some precious ones in the past but this was a very new experience!

T was five months and just as I started to feel like I was getting the hang of this mothering an infant thing, and maybe starting to get a little more sleep, another call came. This time we had two days to plan - baby girl would be joining our family. Two days old.

Eleven months later, another newborn.

Three babies in 18 months. Since then, my life has felt consumed. In a beautiful and challenging way. I’ve struggled with feeling depleted more than ever, while trying to run a business called “Flourish”. I felt like I didn’t have much to share. Well, because, I didn’t feel like I was flourishing. I felt (and still feel) like I’m in survival mode most days. And, by the grace of God, I’m still finding ways to love this season of mothering small children even when it feels like the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

So I’ve found myself asking a lot; “What does it look like to flourish?”

Does it always mean showing “fruit” or does it sometimes mean the deep soul work - hidden beneath the surface in the secret place between a soul and her creator. A new seed buried deep ready to unfurl when the time is right?

In a day when the pressure to accomplish, produce, curate, and show the world how great your life is, it can feel defeating and depressing when the work that’s inevitably happening lies below the surface - nothing to “show” for. Not yet.

My honest heart? I’ve struggled with this so much this year. And I knew social media was a trigger for me to feel it even more - that feeling of; “Am I not doing enough, producing enough, being enough?” I am choosing daily to call this lie what it is. To turn it on it’s head and say that the season I am in is important. The work that’s happening in the secret place is sacred. Being here and being present to the precious lives in front of me is sacred and it matters. And the work that you do, the life that you live day-to-day. It’s sacred and it matters.

Whether you’re in a similar season of mothering, or you’re feeling the effects of a multi-year global pandemic, or you’re experiencing some kind of loss…. know that you are not alone. There could be a thousand different reasons that flourishing looks different right now. And that’s okay. Sometimes the deepest growth is the most unseen. The under-the-surface, deep growing pains, the daily reaching out in prayers of exhaustion and surrender and searching for glimpses of Eden you can find in the day-to-day.

Just because you’re not producing visible fruit does not mean you’re not flourishing. Deep below the surface, God is at work in beautiful, mysterious ways. He who began a work in your life will finish it - and it will be stunning.

References:
Life Quakes: I learned this term from this fabulous podcast episode from the Allender Center Podcast

Eden Moments: I heard this beautiful concept from Tara Mohr: “Go Forth” and “Right Here”. I share a little glimpse of it and how I apply it in my life here.

‘Flourishing’ Can Look Different Right Now